Friday, September 16, 2005

The Subway Dating Diet

I have a theory that every guy my age is either named Michael or has at least one close friend named Michael. Think about the men in your life, and I bet you'll find it's true. Don't be confused by their aliases - because there are so many of them, they usually go by their last name or some other nickname. Or, my favorite, Just Plain Mike. Jete has one Michael and one Just Plain Mike (JPM).

JPM has been Jete's friend since high school. He's a great guy. I've known him longer than I've known Jete. He's got some quirks, but deep down he's got a good heart. He's constantly looking for love, but always seems to come up short lately.

The other night, Jete and JPM went to dinner and had the following conversation, which made me laugh:

JPM: You know, lately, I've been interested in bigger women. Too many guys are interested in those stick thin girls. I like a girl with a little meat on her.

Jete: I don't get it either. Guys at work will say a girl is way too big for them and I can't believe it. The girls they like are flat chested, flat butts.

JPM: I know. Why don't they date a 10-year-old boy or something.

(see why I love these guys?)

Jete: Have you found any prospects lately? What about at work?

JPM: Nah. I don't want to date anyone from work again. We all know how that turned out last time.

(ugly breakup - constant reminder by seeing her.)

JPM: There is this one girl...

Jete: Who is she?

JPM: She actually works at the Subway near my house.

(JPM lives alone and doesn't cook. He's been eating Subway for dinner 3 or 4 times a week.)

Jete: What's she like?

JPM: She's funny and always makes me feel good when I go in there. She's kind of ghetto, but really intelligent too. She's a nice girl.

Jete: Well why don't you ask her out?

JPM: I don't want to go through all that.

Jete: You afraid she already has a boyfriend?

JPM: No, it's not that. If it didn't work out...

Jete: Yeah, you don't want to go through another bad breakup.

JPM: No, I don't care about that. But if we broke up... I'd have to find another Subway.

Ah, boys and their priorities. You gotta love them!

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