Say THAT Three Times Fast

In our attempt to qualify for aid from a state fund, we're required to present a letter from Ethan's doctor. A physican needs to explain his medical history, diagnosis, and any equipment needed. We asked Dr. AJ, Ethan's neurologist, to write it. Unlike some of his other specialists, he's local and has seen Ethan since birth.

I got the letter today. Ethan has - count 'em - four diagnoses. Among them were the usual: "Hearing Impairment", "Legally Blind", and "Seizure Disorder, probably secondary to Lennox Gastaut syndrome".

But this one had to be my favorite:

Cerebral palsy of the severe spastic quadriparetic type with microcephaly, severe mental retardation, cystic encephalomalacia, with probable periventricular leukomalacia with dystrophic intracerebral calcifications.

Um. Uh huh. Yup.

The scary thing? I know what most of those words mean. I can translate it into plain English if you'd like:

Spastic CP, small head, and severe mental retardation due to brain damage.

Plain and simple.

Unless you're a neurologist. 'Cause let's face it. If you've got the intelligence, time, and money to go to Brain Doctor School, you're going to use your BIG words.