Thursday, March 09, 2006

20 Ways NOT to Start a Rockin' Weekend

  1. Arrive ten minutes late to dentist.
  2. Have receptionist announce, so that hygentist, dentist, waiting room folks and people across the street can hear: "YOU ARE LATE."
  3. Have receptionist tell hygentist, "This is Mete. SHE IS LATE. You don't have to take her at all if you don't want to. BECAUSE SHE'S LATE."
  4. Have hygentist decide to take you despite your loserness. Realize as you sit in the chair that you've had her before - she's the one who missed her calling as an archeologist.
  5. Mention to hygentist that you still have that sensitive spot on your tooth. Have her almost immediately jam a sharp metal object into it and ask, "Does that hurt?"
  6. Sit through 30 gut-wrenching minutes of scraping. Have her find another sensitive spot and proceed to poke it with a metal instrument until you are on the ceiling, then "tsk" at you and say, "Hmph. Probably another cavity." (YOU THINK?)
  7. Leave dentist with an appointment for two fillings. Skip the much-desired Friendly's sundae out of guilt.
  8. Tune in to country station on the way home and realize they are conducting a telethon for St. Jude's. Hear a mother describe losing her first-born to cancer.
  9. Cry.
  10. Arrive home after enduring enemy-secrets-level torture and have husband say, "So. You were late to the dentist, hmm?" in a disapproving tone.
  11. Find out dentist's office called the house asking for you at 6:04. Your appointment was at 6:00.
  12. Have fight with husband. Over the DISHES.
  13. Cry.
  14. Try to wash dishes and accidentally spill massive amounts of water all over the kitchen floor.
  15. Listen to husband complain that he's hungry. Offer him some of that cereal that he liked that you bought for him. Have him tell you that, actually, he hates that cereal now.
  16. Cry.
  17. Go on internet to avoid talking to cranky husband. Read story of woman's recent miscarriage.
  18. Cry.
  19. Scrounge around for desparately needed chocolate. Settle for a giant Hershey Kiss left over from Valentine's Day. Get frustrated trying to cut it with a butter knife and give up.
  20. Realize that tomorrow's half-day will probably be spent much like today. Except with CRAMPS.


Kelly said...

Must. Change. Dentist. Quick.

Jess said...

OMG, I can't believe that receptionist. What a b!tch. There's no call for her to be doing that.

Seriously. Change dentists. If I had to go through that at the dentist, I wouldn't go. (Says the person who recently went for the first time in over TEN YEARS, heh.)

Frances said...

Over the years I've noticed that dentist offices (at least in New England!) are freaky-weird obsessed with scheduling. With pushy, freaky receptionists (mine would call out of the blue, on random days between appointments, urging me to come down in 10 minutes because "they have an opening.") I one day asked her if she makes a commission on the appointments she books...all I got back was a frown and a "have a seat." I assumed it could be true.

At the same office, during a DEEP CLEANING with that water jet thingy that made my gums bleed and hurt, I asked her to stop working on a sensitive area or at least give me some novocaine. She insisted that I "work through it," as she'd be done in a few moments. I told her the pain was too intense. She insisted, shoving the thing back in, hitting what felt like an exposed nerve. I pushed her hand away and, tears down my face, told her to please respect what I asked. She got all fake sweet on me and said, "Aw, you're having a bad day."

That's my long way of saying I'm not so sure there are any good dentists in this neck of the woods. I've been asking around as we moved not too long ago and I need to find a new one. Not one person has been able to give me a glowing recommendation. I'm ready to flip open the yellow pages, close my eyes and point.

Sorry you had such an awful day.

Erin said...

Hope you're having a great time right now!!