I Confess...

... I enjoyed reading the Da Vinci Code two years ago.

Furthermore, I found the movie entertaining. (What else were we going to see? Mission Impossible III?)

Apparantly? The book sucks. I've long heard this many times (especially from a close friend who actually knows a thing or two about literature). Somehow, I missed that when I devoured it one afternoon.

And clearly, I am in the minority as far as the movie is concerned as well.

I think we've all established that math is my true calling. I'm no literary scholar. If a story is quick moving and mildly captivating, I'll probably enjoy it. And I did.

I know it's not cool to admit that, but who am I kidding? I've never been cool.

Can you ever forgive me?

Sun Worshipper

As a small child, I saw a movie that affected me deeply. Even now, in my thirties, I continue to think of this film from time to time. I remember clearly how it made me feel when I saw it. It haunts me to some degree.

For years, I remembered this film in snippets. I would flash back to images, feelings and ideas. The name of the film, the actors, the characters were all gone. I only remembered a few distinct details, and one central theme: rain.

It was a story about children, living in a place where it always rained. Their lives were obviously affected by this constant rain, and the fact that most of them had never even seen the sun.

But there was one girl in the group who did remember the sun. She always talked about how wonderful it was, to the point that the other children were jealous and hateful toward her. She was different, and therefore ostracized. I remember understanding her pain clearly. I knew what it was like to be picked on, as all children do to some degree. It made me very sad.

Yesterday, I decided my wondering about this mystery film had gone on long enough. God invented Google for a reason, after all. Seek, and ye shall find.

After several attempts, I found it, and apparantly, I wasn't the only person looking. It was based on a short story by Ray Bradbury called All Summer in a Day. The movie came out in 1982, when I was 7. I'm not sure how old I was when I finally saw it, but it was around then.

I don't remember much about being 7, but I do remember this movie. What always comes back is the ending of the story. The girl misses out on experiencing this miracle - that she appreciated like no one else did - all because she was different. As a child, it was devastating to think about. I don't think I had ever seen a movie that didn't end happily. It was an awakening in a sense, which probably explains why I still remember it today.

***

I thought it was appropriate that I finally put this mystery to rest yesterday. As I got home from work, the most amazing thing happened. For the first time in nearly two weeks, the clouds suddenly parted and the sun came out. Blue sky and everything.

Nothing makes you appreciate the miracle of the sun like day after day of endless grey.

How?

How can the death of someone you only know through words on a computer screen make you cry?

How can a love like this exist in the world, only to be cut so short?

How can life be so unfair?

How can I ever explain things like this to my children someday?

More importantly, how can I know that I'll be around long enough to even try?

How do any of us know we'll be around to see tomorrow?

We don't. All we can do is try to go on. Try to find the joy. Try to believe it will all be okay.

And thank god or fate or luck that it wasn't us. This time.

The One Where I Tell You Where to Go

Today is Blogging Against Disablism day in the blog world. I'd like to participate, but, well. You know.

Please visit Diary of a Goldfish for the full list of participating blogs. While I'm most drawn to the parenting stories, the writers examine prejudice against the disabled from all points of view.

Here are a few highlights, courtesy of some old friends and some new:

• Bitch PhD
• Dream Mom
• Everyone Else Has a Blog
• It's a Wonderful Life
• Jenelle's Journey
• Micro Preemie Twins