Monday, March 27, 2006

Communication is key to a good relationship

M: (through a stuffy nose) I feel just like Kramer in that Macanaw peach episode of Seinfeld.

J: (puts down what he is reading) What episode?

M: You know, the episode where Kramer loves those peaches, but can't taste them?

J: (stares blankly at me)

M: You remember! He raves and raves about eating these peaches. But then Jerry's apartment gets bug-bombed, and Kramer sits in there for a few hours, and then he loses his sense of taste!

J: (more blank staring)

M: YOU REMEMBER. Kramer freaks out, because these peaches are the best peaches in the world, and they're only ripe for a few weeks a year, and now he can't taste them.

J: That must be one of the only episodes of Seinfeld that I didn't see.

M: You saw it. I know you saw it.

J: I don't think so.

M: Sure you did. Remember, the reason Jerry had to get bug-bombed is because he had fleas? And then he found a Chunky wrapper in his couch. And that's how he knew Newman gave him fleas.

J: (more blank staring)

M: Yeah. And Elaine had to read some manuscript, but she left it in Jerry's locked up apartment. She runs in holding her breath, and she can't find it anywhere. But Kramer had read it while he was sitting in the poison gas. So he has to tell her what it was all about.

J: (blinks a few times)

M: And he gives her some ridiculous explanation, something about "unbridled enthusiasm", and she actually ends up getting the job because of what he told her!

J: Yeah. I don't think I saw that.

M: I'm pretty sure you did.

J: Either way, what does that have to do with you?

M: Well, I know exactly how Kramer felt with his peaches. That's just like me right now.

J: What?

M: Girl Scout cookie season is only once a year, and now I have a cold right in the middle of the season and I can't taste them!

J: Yeah, but Girl Scout cookies don't spoil like peaches do. Just wait until your cold is gone and then eat them.

M: But I want one NOW. (stuffs delicious peanut-buttery Tagalong into mouth)

J: But if you can't taste it, what's the point?

M: I can almost taste it. I just have a cold, it's not like I sat in poison gas or anything.

J: Okay then. (goes back to his reading)

M: (sigh) Boys just don't understand.