These Pumpkins are Smashing

I headed to Old Navy late last week for a second look for the boys' costumes. I was excited to see that the Halloween stuff was on sale - half price. And, by some miracle, they still had the boys' sizes. Needless to say, my decision was made.

Don't the boys look excited that I saved 10 dollars?

I knew my procrastination would come in handy one of these days.

Tug of War

My mind and my hair tie have a lot in common today. They are both one firm tug from snapping completely.

You Know You're Jaded When...

• your son's neurologist asks you how many seizures he's having daily, and you say "Uh, 20. 30. 50. Something like that."
• the neurologist instructs you to increase your son's $1500 a month drug until it is effectively doubled, and without blinking you say, "That's fine. When Cigna rejects the claim, I'll let the nurse know."
• upon opening an overdraft notice from your bank, you think, "Two days until payday. That's only 40 dollars in fees."
• you get what is supposed to be a threatening phone call from a Ms. Betty Hill at a medical collection agency, and all you can do is laugh that her name reminds you of someone else.
• when your boss tells you you're getting a small bonus, you say, "Good. Now I can get Betty Hill off my back." And laugh again. Because that name is damn funny.

Cows and Elephants and Frogs, Oh My

Halloween is one of those holidays that just reinforces that things just aren't "Normal" in our house.

I dressed Ethan up for first two Halloweens and took him to all of the grandparents' houses. He was dressed first as a cow and then as an elephant. Last year, the boys were dressed in matching frog costumes. Ethan was 2 and a half, and CG was about 6 months old. Two babies. One a little bigger than the other, but developmentally, about the same.

This year things seem different. CG is 18 months. Walking, climbing, running EVERYWHERE. He has obviously surpassed Ethan.

Ethan is almost 4. He's big, like an almost 4-year-old would be. Despite the tendency most kids with CP have to be thin, he is a bit chunky. He's got a little pot belly and big meaty thighs. He somehow jumped quickly from the 3T clothes directly to 5T. He's even more comfortable in the Little Boy Size 5 than he is in the Toddler Size 5.

I have absolutely NO sewing skills, so I stole an hour from my weekend to shop for costumes for them. I went to Old Navy first, where I had gotten a couple of the costumes in the past. They're great. Soft, warm fleece. Easy on and off. Perfect for two boys in diapers.

Of course, waiting until a week before Halloween never leaves you with many choices. They had exactly two options left in Ethan's size: an astronaut and a pumpkin.

I quickly dismissed the idea of Ethan the Astronaut. That seemed ridiculous to me: dressing a mentally retarded four-year-old in an astronaut costume. I know Halloween is a time for make-believe. My cousin's daughter has no chance of growing up to be Buzz Lightyear, her costume of choice. But I can't deny the fact that Ethan will never be an astronaut. Why pretend?

I moved on to a few other stores, but got more discouraged as I looked. The costumes for little boys are things like Ninja, Pirate, Race Car Driver, Cowboy. The packages show pictures of precocious little boys dressed in the costumes. Obviously, they assume your child can stand and walk as they trick-or-treat.

As I shopped, I couldn't help but think - how long should I go on like this? This will be his fourth Halloween. Will I still be dressing him up when he's 7? 10? Should I even bother to dress him up again next year? Or should I be giving up now?

The truth is, I'm not ready to give up Ethan's childhood just yet. I'll probably go back and get the pumpkin costume. It's more his speed than an astronaut or race car driver. He won't mind. He doesn't know that he's dressing up. And as the years go on, he won't know who Santa or the Easter Bunny are.

But soon enough, CG will know. And I know he'll enjoy those regular, typical, childhood traditions. I want to keep them alive, for his sake.

And maybe, probably, for my own.

Only in Amherst

'Freshman' year eliminated
Thursday, October 20, 2005

AMHERST - There are no freshmen at Amherst Regional High School.

Ninth-grader is now the official term used for first-year students. Following in the steps of several area colleges, including Amherst, Smith in Northampton and Mount Holyoke in South Hadley, the school has dropped freshman from its vocabulary because of the male connotation of the word.

"I think it's kind of weird," ninth-grader Sam F. Hart of Shutesbury said yesterday. "There's a lot of other words that have man in it. I don't see it as sexist. Freshmen is what we've always been called."

Marta M. Guevara, assistant principal for student support, said yesterday the change to ninth-grader was initiated nearly two years ago during a week that highlighted issues surrounding violence against women. The week ended with the student production of the controversial play "The Vagina Monologues."

That town is messed. up.

I just don't get the need to force everything to be so incredibly PC. It's ridiculous. I worked there for a few years, and I was suffocating from all that pompous stuffiness.

And maybe I'm a big fat prude, but having ninth-grade students - fourteen year olds - performing the Vagina Monologues seems a little over the top to me. It's a great play, fine, but for the ninth grade? Besides the fact that most of the play is sexually related, I hardly think the average fourteen year old can appreciate the perspective of sex and all your body goes through as you get older. They're just starting puberty for cripes sakes.

And yet, a few years ago, Amherst voted that the students could not perform West Side Story, because of it's "racial stereotypes". They thought it promoted the idea that all Puerto Ricans (but not Polish people?) were gang members.

Guess I was missing something. I always thought the play was saying that you shouldn't judge people based on their racial background. That it was about people getting along.

But what would a town full of rich, white people know about that?

Playing the Odds

I've reached a new high (or low?) with my dealings with Cigna. I called to ask another question, and ended up speaking to a customer service rep that I've already spoken to before - JANELLE. WOW.

With the amount of people working there, you'd think that the odds of speaking to the same person twice are pretty high. Almost like hitting the lottery or something, right?

Well. Without the money. And happiness.

On second thought, it probably makes more sense to compare it to the odds of being struck by lightning.

Stay at Home Moron

I really admire Stay at Home Moms. Not that they have a harder job than I do necessarily, but I have to believe they just do it so much better than I do.

I'm home alone with the boys today, since Jete is working overtime (yay OT!). It is 3:21 PM and I've yet to:

1. Brush my teeth
2. Remove my hair from the matted ponytail I slept in
3. Put on a bra (which, trust me, I could use)
4. Change out of my pajamas
5. Eat lunch

I love the boys so much. And I love being home with them all day. But honestly - more than a few days like this in a row, and I start to get a little kooky. Well. More so than usual.

I have, however, been good enough to:

1. Wash 3 loads of dishes
2. Clean up the living room - 4 times (you can't tell)
3. Bring out the trash
4. Wash 1 load of laundry
5. Make dessert for the out-laws tonight (but not dinner. That's someone else's job. I'm not superwoman.)

Most of that happened in the 1 hour and 47 minutes CG was napping. Ethan's good about letting me get chores done, as long as I feed him lunch in between. But now, CG is awake. And I'm off again.

Only 4 and a half hours until bedtime...